Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina
dog chow for my loyal pet, Missy, the Wonder Dog and was in

the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and

have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have

a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I

probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last

time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an

intensive care ward with 20 tubes coming out of most of my orifices

and IVs in both arms.


I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the

way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina

nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.

The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was

going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically

everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified,

she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food

poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an

Irish Setter and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he

was laughing so hard. Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time