'Twas the Month After Christmas
'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house,
Nothing fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
As the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared.
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, 'No thank you, please.'
As I dressed myself, in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt--.
I said to myself, only as I can
'You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!
So-away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
'Till all the additional ounces have vanished.'
I won't have a cookie - not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick..
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore--
But isn't that what January is for///////HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL//
'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house,
Nothing fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
As the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared.
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, 'No thank you, please.'
As I dressed myself, in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt--.
I said to myself, only as I can
'You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!
So-away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
'Till all the additional ounces have vanished.'
I won't have a cookie - not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick..
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore--
But isn't that what January is for///////HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL//
