A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor
comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you
probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the
freeway. You're going to be ok and will be able to walk again,
but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in
insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build
a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly
$1000 an inch."

The man perks up. "So," the doctor says,"You must decide how many
inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over
thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife.
If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might
be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to
only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's
important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."

The man agrees to talk it over with his wife. The doctor comes back
the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"

"Yes I have," says the man.

"And has she helped you make a decision?"

"Yes she has" says the man.

"What did you decide?" asks the doctor.

"We're getting granite countertops."